Safety Planning
Don't Leave Until You're Ready
- Identify and practice how to get out of your home safely.
- Prepare a suitcase and leave it with a friend. See our suggested checklist for items to pack.
- Open a post office box so that you can receive mail/checks.
- Determine ahead of time where you might be able to stay temporarily. Keep in mind that you don’t want your abuser to find you.
- Keep important phone numbers on you, including numbers of domestic violence shelters.
- Purchase a phone card and keep it in your wallet.
- Try to save money in a separate savings account in your name or give money to hold to a trusted friend.
- Review your safety plan as often as possible.
Safety At Home (When the Abuser has Moved Out)
- Change the locks on your doors.
- Buy locks for your windows.
- Talk to a neighbor about the violence,
and ask that they call the police if they hear
a disturbance coming from your home.
Safety Planning with your Children
- Plan and rehearse an escape route out of your home.
- Teach them a code word, and tell them to call 911 when you use that code word.
- Teach them how to use a public telephone to dial 911.
- Inform your children’s school, day care provider, etc. about who has permission to pick your children up.
- If necessary, provide school/day care personnel with a photo of your abuser, with strict instructions not to release your child to that person. Make sure they have a copy of your restraining order if you have one.
- Ask school personnel not to give out your address or phone number.
Safety During an Incident With Your Abuser
- Stay out of rooms that have no exit (closets, bathrooms).
- Avoid rooms that have weapons (kitchens, bedrooms
where there may be a gun).
- Select and use a code word that alerts your friends,
neighbors and family members to call 911.
- Use your instincts. If the situation is dangerous, consider
giving the abuser what he or she wants to calm him or her down.
Items To Take - Checklist
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Identification & driver's license
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Car registration, title and insurance
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Birth certificates for self and children
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Social Security cards
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School and medical records
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Cash, bankbooks, ATM and credit cards
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Extra keys - house/car/office
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Changes of clothes
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Medications
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Eyeglasses and contacts
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Food and supplies for pets
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Pet registration and medical records
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Cash and food assistance cards
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Child support orders
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Passport(s), Green Card, Visa Permits
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Divorce and custody documents
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Marriage license
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Copies of protective orders
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Agreements - lease/rental/deeds
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Mortgage payment book
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Current unpaid bills in my name
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Health and life insurance documents
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Jewelry, heirlooms, photos and items of sentimental value
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Children's toys and blankets
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Address book/emergency numbers
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RI Statewide Helpline (1.800.494.8100)
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Trusted friends and family; school; work
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Local police; doctor's office; hospital
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Community agencies; veterinarian