Types of Abuse

Acts of Violence

 

- Intimidation: Making angry or threatening gestures; use of physical size to intimidate; standing in doorway during arguments; out-shouting you; driving recklessly.

 

- Destruction: Destroying your possessions (e.g., furniture); punching walls; throwing and/or breaking things.- Threats: Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt you or others.

 

- Sexual Violence: Degrading treatment or discrimination based on your sex or sexual orientation; using force, threats or coercion to obtain sex or perform sexual acts.

 

- Physical Violence: Being violent to you, your children, household pets or others: slapping; punching; grabbing; kicking; choking; pushing; biting; burning; stabbing; shooting, etc.

 

- Weapons: Use of weapons, keeping weapons around which frighten you; threatening or attempting to kill you or those you love.

Economic Abuse

 

- Economic Control: Interfering with your work or not letting you work; refusing to give you or taking your money; taking your car keys or otherwise preventing you from using the car; threatening to report you to welfare or other social service agencies.

Verbal Abuse

 

- Destructive Criticism/Verbal Attacks: Name-calling; mocking; accusing; blaming; yelling; swearing; making humiliating remarks or gestures.

 

- Disrespect: Interrupting; changing topics; not listening or responding; twisting your words; putting you down in front of other peoples; saying bad things about your friends and family.

Internet Abuse

Please try to use a safer computer that someone abusive does not have direct or remote (hacking) access to

- If you think your activities are being monitored, they probably are. Abusive people are often controlling and want to know your every move.

- It is not possible to delete or clear all the “footprints" of your computer or online activities.

- You may want to keep using the monitored computer for innocuous activities, like looking up the weather. Use a safer computer to research an escape plan, look for new jobs or apartments.

- Email and Instant/Text Messaging (IM) are not safe or confidential ways to talk to someone about the danger or abuse in your life.

- Computers can store a lot of private information about what you look at via the Internet, the emails and instant messages you send, internet-based phone and IP-TTY calls you make, web-based purchases and banking, and many other activities.

- It might be safer to use a computer in a public library, at a trusted friend’s house, or an Internet Café

source

Emotional Abuse

 

- Pressure Tactics: Rushing you to make decision through “guilt-tripping” and other forms of intimidation; sulking; threatening to withhold money; manipulating the children; telling you what to do.


- Abusing Authority: Always claiming to be right (insisting statements are “the truth”); bossing you around; making big decisions; using “logic.”


- Abusing Trust: Lying; withholding information; cheating on you; being overly jealous.


- Breaking Promises: Not following through on agreements; not taking a fair share of responsibility;

refusing to help with child care or housework.


- Emotional Withholding: Not expressing feelings; not giving support, attention, or compliments; not respecting feelings, rights, or opinions.


- Minimizing, Denying & Blaming: Making light of behavior and not taking your concerns about it seriously; saying the abuse didn’t happen; shifting responsibility for abusive behavior; saying you caused it.


- Self-Destructive Behavior: Abusing drugs or alcohol; threatening suicide or other forms of self-harm; deliberately saying or doing things that will have negative consequences (e.g., telling off the boss).


- Isolation: Preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives; monitoring phone calls; telling you where you can and cannot go.


- Harassment: Making uninvited visits or calls; following you; embarrassing you in public; refusing to leave when asked. 

Proud Member of the Rhode Island CoalitionAgainst Domestic Violence

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